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IREI I need to write. And I have to do it quickly, before the battery dies in my arms. And 'one of those days at the end of which, would have suffered the chance to vent, ask advice, to tell the thousands of emotions experienced in a few hours. But I can not, at least until they pass through the door and finally find what I'm trying. Here I am, then. My blog is my small dark room lit only by the slight light of a candle. There's just me. And my thoughts. What can I say. You can spend over eight hours from exaltation to its maximum efficiency, then the unconscious fear of not having done enough? Do not listen to my conscience and I hurt. Because what that tells me is that I, as always, doing my best, if not all. So who I instills fear that stupid? The answer once again I find myself: what do I care what is' that I prove to be. Always. Available, capable of that one movement of the head that corresponds all'annuire. So, hence the belief (or rather, fear) that I should always give their best, even when it seems I asked. So go with the guilt: "But I should do that too?", "I then really done everything possible? "And if I were misjudged for my behavior?". Faure, probably unjustified, absurd that they are already undermining a long bridge that I have a desire to live in total relaxation. Step to really stupid, I realize. But I had to speak, I had to tell, outsource everything. I do not care to be in effect a paranoid. And so am always doing the basics to live badly. And to think that everything is terribly clear: I am afraid of the fact that you have already discovered the cards. You think I can get rid of this little moment, until Monday? Or end up with the worry of a 'possible return to my complaint? And if I I spent almost megalomaniac? Maybe my presence and my absence at an important moment not even been noticed. Well, that is, creating the usual havoc is still the same incredible, absurd fear. That in some respects is motivated because I'm still in "trial period". But the problem is somewhere else, this is clear. The problem as always is in me. Ah, I almost forgot .. Among the feelings of today is worth mentioning the fact that I felt so good to the cause to think of an idiot. I got rid of the spider web woven around over the years is not easy, I worked hard to make a grown man who still, however, must learn a lot from life. It can be that everything that is happening slowly help me to get rid of interlacing strings that wrap. That will come soon on June 20.